The Waiting is the Hardest Part!

Oh baby dont it feel like heaven right now

Dont it feel like somethin from a dream

Yeah Ive never known nothing quite like this

Dont it feel like tonight might never be again

We know better than to try and pretend

Baby no one could have ever told me bout this

The waiting is the hardest part

Every day you see one more card

You take it on faith, you take it to the heart

The waiting is the hardest part

...those lyrics by Tom Petty describe perfectly right now how I'm feeling. I'm TIRED of waiting. I'm SORE from waiting. I'm READY to meet my baby daughter. I'm READY to realize my dream and start raising a family with Todd. I hate to keep complaining about my physical ailments, but seriously, I can barely even WALK today, the swelling is so horrendous. It took me almost 5 minutes to hobble out and get into the car today when I left to go mail a package! I move slowly and it's NOT the belly (although the belly *IS* huge!), it's these humongo feet, ankles and calves.

I have tried just about everything I can find to induce my own labor. EVERYTHING. Dr. T suggested something to me this evening that I am considering trying: castor oil! UGH, I can just imagine how THAT tastes. But this is how desperate I am. I'm in so much pain it's crazy and what is worse is there is nothing much I can do about it. I just popped a Tylenol, just now! I don't know if it will do any good at all and I HATE taking stuff but let me repeat: I AM MISERABLE AND DESPERATE. DESPERATELY MISERABLE. MISERABLY DESPERATE.

Thursday, I hope to be able to enjoy that prenatal massage and that awesome Mexican food. Perhaps if one of THOSE two lovelies doesn't throw me into labor on my own THEN I will try the castor oil. Then I can go into labor on Friday, have the baby and be back home all by Monday or Tuesday! Wouldn't THAT be great?! Oooh, I have it all planned out and I only WISH it were that easy. We will know more Wednesday at our next OB visit. Hopefully Dr. Collins will tell me I've dilated even more and just send me right over to the hospital! Either that or he will be very reassuring that labor is near, no induction necessary! That would REALLY be a blessing because I am NOT excited about the possibility of being induced. At this point, I'd do it in a heartbeat just because of all this pain and discomfort but I have read and heard it said that inductions make the labor stronger and harder...and labor sounds like it's hard enough work, just letting nature run its course, without the interference of medical technology and its silly little Cervidil, the pregnant woman's wolf in sheep's clothing.

Meanwhile, here are a few pictures of me...waiting...

And yes, I KNOW my clothes don't match! But you know what? Right now it's slim pickens in my closet. Nothing fits!! NOTHING! I have a pair of yoga capris that still fit, and a pair of velour pants that still fit. I have a few shirts that fit me, too. But honestly, I was doing just fine in the clothing department until a few weeks ago and then my tummy REALLy did a number on me and just POPPED out there! This little phenomenon really wrecked havoc on my wardrobe choices because now not even the Bella Bands can save me; they still let the pants fall down because my belly is so large! LOL. So, if you see me out and about, which will be rare, I'm telling you, but if you do, I will most likely be wearing black stretchy pants and some kind of maternity top...and flip flops. Nothing fits on these feet of mine...house slippers barely fit! I can't wear socks OR Crocs. So, flip flops it is. And they're not even my really cute Gap ones! They're these old black ones from Old Navy LAST summer (as in 2007) and they are totally WORN OUT but they're the only ones in my closet that fit and even then I'm not sure 'fit' is the most appropriate word. They'll go on my feet! How 'bout that?!

Be sure to check back tomorrow for pictures of Molly's nursery! It's adorable!

xoxox

liz