The story of us...The Watts Family...and regular updates for those who are following...


Month 1 Sleep and Weight Gain

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I’m not very far along and am already having a difficult time of sleeping. I can’t stay asleep for more than 3 or 4 hours, tops. I’ve been waking in the mornings at 3 and 4 o’clock, only having gone to bed the night before at midnight. It’s strange because my body, a year ago, could hang out in bed until noon if I let it. If I woke up early, I could just roll over and go back to sleep.

Now, however, I get BORED and my eyes won’t close once they fly open for the day. Well, that is, until it gets to be around 11 or 11: 30 in the morning. By then I’m usually due for a quick 1 or 2 hour cat nap. I doze on the couch or in bed but like clockwork, I awaken again full of energy. I do seem to tire easily, but seem to recover just as quickly.

I must say, however, that this routine I’ve got going has been very beneficial to my work. I find that if I need a nap and succumb to that need, then I wake up more productive and ready to get back to work. By cat napping, I’ve been able to vacuum, keep up with laundry, make meals, sweep the floor, do my bills, answer mail, care for the animals and basically just stay on top of things. I feel absolutely wonderful.

… But this is only Month 1. I am fully aware that as this pregnancy progresses, I will likely change my tune to a different song. I’m not, for example, looking forward to not being able to bend over, which is what my friend Traci is going through right at this moment. I’m not looking forward to not being able to rest unless I’m positioned just so. BUT… I’m thankful for this entire experience, that’s for sure. THAT, that is what I CAN say.

My weight is still freaking me out. Of course, I’m such a carb addict and seem to be getting next to no exercise other than the occasional trip to Wal-Mart and walking around there. I’m awaiting a few DVDs such as Living Room Yoga and the Dance It Off! Series, even though I need to dance nothing off. I simply want to remain fit and, so be it if I gain some weight. Within reason. My worst fear is gaining back to my original 250 pounds only to never see my size 8s or 10s ever again. If it happens, it happens, but I want to do all I can now (again, within reason) to prevent such a tragedy. And in my book? That would qualify as a tragedy.

Let me just stop here and say that I had 2 main reasons for having gastric bypass surgery: The first was mainly because I could not breathe. Literally, all the fat was pushing against my organs and I could not sleep lying flat. Everyday, I had headaches to some degree and was too stubborn to treat them symptomatically. The second main reason was because I wanted to be a good mother when the time came, and for a long time I’ve wanted nothing more than to be a mommy. But for me, and I know many out there might disagree with this sentiment, I did not feel that being fat contributed to me being a good mother. At a preconception appointment with my OB/GYN, he told me to lose the weight and then I might have a chance at conceiving. I tried everything: Weight Watchers. NutriSystem. The Atkins Diet. Starvation. The local fitness club. Praying. Honestly, nothing worked for me because I had such horribly weak willpower. Or, it would work for a month or 2 but then I’d fall off my healthy wagon and the pounds I’d dropped would come back with a vengence, only this time they brought friends. I was miserable. I felt and looked it, too. I looked like a swollen toad and felt like a big blob of fat. I wasn’t used to being that heavy and it was just all out of control.

So, as you can see, surgery changed my life for the better. I feel that I have conceived only because I lost the weight and I believe my doctor would concur. I am healthy now and can breathe and move easily and freely. I am finally satisfied when I look in the mirror and everyday I put my best foot forward to be the best person I can possibly be. That’s exactly the kind of mom I want to be: someone who’s positive. Someone who can actually get down in the floor and play with her children. And finally, I have the confidence that I can be exactly that kind of person, wife and mother.

Today, I weigh 149. This is the heaviest I have been since WLS, with my lowest weight so far at 139. I feel my best around 140 or 141, and now at 149 my pants are tightening and I’ve had to move to a size 12 britches. My bra size is increased also, and it increased practically overnight, from a 34B to a 36C. The husband’s thrilled, needless to say, but I am looking down at my chest in awe and frequently walk around the house and lift up my shirt and say, “Just look at my boobs!” and of course we laugh. Last night Todd said with pride,”… And they’re just gonna keep getting bigger!”

I don’t know if it’s normal to have this rapid of weight gain this early in a pregnancy, especially after gastric bypass surgery, but I’m just going with it. I’m meeting with the nutritionist from my surgeon’s office on Friday so we can talk about where to go from here and how to better my diet. I’ve been keeping a food log per Stephanie’s request for the last 3 days and am mortified by the amount and types of foods I’ve been eating. I know better than that hot brownie with vanilla ice cream on top! I know better than that stack of saltines I had between my 2 afternoon snacks yesterday! I know better than to take infrequent sips of Todd’s strawberry pop. And yet, I do it. WHY??
This is the thing I’m getting ready to explore. And as always, I will keep you posted.



Anonymous said...

Aww sissy with Wyatt and Abbi i put on over 10 pounds befor i even found out i was pregnant. and i found out at 4 weeks with both . id say its normal at first and it will start to level out and slow down , but relly be aware of what your eating and continue to exercise but dont over due it . with both my pregnancys i gained so much i think it was like 60 or so pounds and continued after also , lord knows how easy it is to grab a handfull of cookies at a midnight feeding . hahahah. so dont fall off the wagon completly its so hard to lose it naturaly as i am still trying 5 yrs after wyatt hell what id do to be the size 12 i was befor my ass got pregant. hahaha. its so easy to say im pregnant and its alright , or im feeding the baby , the babys hungrey ... but maybe with the surgery it will fall right back off , Shauna got real big and i swaer to you within 3 weeks after caleb was born she lost more than she started with . Breast feed girl breast feed it will help and todd can enjoy your biguns a lil longer hahahaha. hm i bet you get to a 38 dd at your biggest right after baby is born to bad they wont belong to todd anymore hahahaha. they are babys now so back off buddy !!!!!!!!! wont he love that but anyways he can admire from afar.... well we love you good luck sissy.......AMBER

Candy said...

OH MY GOSH YOU HAVE A BLOG...and ON MY REALLY GOSH...YIPEEEEE YOU ARE HAVING A BABY...I got goose bumbs with I read this. CONGRATS CONGRATS CONGRATS...You probally have no idea but I have been praying for you for GOD to let you be a MOM...Girl you are an AWESOME PERSON.....and I can only IMAGINE what a FANTASTIC mom you will be...OH MAN I dont want to wait 3 more months to find out what you are haveing. If you have a shower we would LOVE to come. I have really appericated you Following our adoption Story and Cheering us on with Kya and now Jagger. I know you were TRULY happy for me even though you wanted a baby so bad too...Girl THIS ROCKS I get out of PGN and you have a BUN IN THE OVEN. Ok now about the weight...if this makes you feel any know me I have been a STICK my whole life...I weighed 100 when we started Kya's adoption...I gained 10 lbs with her adoption and now 10 more with Jaggers adoption...heck I could be carring a baby right now...haha! I now thats not alot but to me it is and I need to lose it. I do feel so sad for my Dear Hubby because he can't play with the kids they way I know we wants to because of his weight. Just try to eat HEALTHY and I know you will lose it. And hey if you are 20 lbs heavier even after the baby comes...we will start a 20lb CLUB!!! The main thing is to eat healthy so you have a BEAUTIFUL HEATHY BABY to play in the floor with...but I now you know that. I will be following your journey now! HUGS Candy

Candy said...

forgot to say...SO GALD You are starting a BLOG so others who have had the procedure and want a baby or are having a baby can follow your journey.

Anonymous said...

Honey I thought you were beautiful and full of confidence (or at least faked it very well) out whole lives. You will be beautiful to me and Todd and everyone else that truly loves you no matter how much you weigh!!

Love ya