Quick Update in Pictures...

Well, Well, Well...

It looks as though we have survived MUCH these past few months! Sorry it has taken so long to update this blog...but we have been SUPER DUPER busy and I've been SUPER excited...not to mention SUPER swollen and in SUPER DUPER pain from the knees down!

Anyway, take a look at all the exciting happenings the past few months....

First of all, well, I KNEW pregnancy could ruin a sista's teeth...but THIS?! WOW! Hehehhee. These are my hillbilly snags. I like to put 'em in my mouth and smile at people in the cars next to us at stop lights. They have mysteriously come up missing so I think Todd threw 'em out! He gets so embarrassed when I put on my Hillbilly Best!

...Above, this is Baby Jea's first birthday party! She is soooo sweet. September 2008.
...and this is Jea, too. I believe it was taken in June or July of 2008. Look at those sweet little cheeks! :)

...Above, this is what Jea USED to look like! This is how teeny tiny she USED to be. This photo of Jea and I was taken just days after she was born in September 2007. Wow, has she really grown! :)

...And this is my cousin Scott's wife, Jennifer... This picture was taken at HER baby shower on Labor Day of 2008. Isn't THAT fitting?! Labor Day! HA! She ended up delivering Taylor Rose Quinnelly on my uncle Bruce's birthday, September 24. How very cool is that? What a great birthday blessing! :)

...These two pictures were taken in September 2008. From Left to Right: Me, Amy, Uncle Butch, Aunt Rose, Uncle Bruce. We had just finished dinner at Ruby Tuesdays and of course I brought the camera!

Doesn't AMY look like her beautiful mom, ROSE?! I think so!

...Okay, don't pay any attention to the stretch marks, but here is my belly! This was taken sometime in September. Oh, how I wish I'd kept better track!! Still not with an excessive amount of weight gain, but my "regular" clothes were getting pretty tight at this point.



Another one taken in September. My hair was wet...and Todd looks SO serious here! LOL. That's not his usual look, either!

...SEE??! He couldn't stay THAT serious for THAT long!! I love this man sooooo much! *kiss kiss*

Oh, and MORE good news! We survived our Labor and Delivery Class. This was our Fake Baby. Daddy Toddy did a good job at putting on the first diaper of his whole entire life. I was very proud! There were 5 other couples in our class and we were all about to be first-time parents. The guys all spent time cracking each other up, cracking the teacher up (as well as exasperating her at times, I'm afraid!) asking some numbskull questions (ON PURPOSE, MIND YOU!!) and making their wives/girlfriends elbow, nudge or roll our eyes heavenward, LOL. They ALSO asked a lot of good questions, too. The Fake Baby looked like a zombie and we were a little disappointed in the CPR and car seat segements, but hey...after a month we MADE IT through!

Todd swaddled Fake Baby pretty well! You know I was impressed!!!! Was SHE??! It's kinda hard to tell...

In the next to the last class, all the guys had to wear the Sympathy Belly and follow our teacher's instructions on what to do. Let me tell you, ALLLLL the guys had fun with this one!! Each of them made us all lauuuugggggggh but when each gal's man got up there it was again time to ROLL THE EYES!!! Todd took the cake and if there'd been a vote, he'd have gotten Class Clown Honors...LOL... See for yourself!!

In early September (I THINK that's when it was...heck, my memory is shot these days, I can't remember!) my Aunt Kay and my cousin Ashley came over to paint the nursery for us. See, I wouldn't let Todd paint (because of the mess) and Todd wouldn't let me pain (because of the fumes) so these two ANGELS stepped in and painted for us, thus eliminating the mess for me and the worry for Todd. Thanks Ash & Kay!! Ya'll did a beautiful job and we really appreciate it! We know Molly will love the great colors because they are veryyyyyy soothing! :)

...don't you just want to tug Ashley's ponytail!?? LOL.

Aaaah, look at THESE lovelies! Okay, I know feet are way gross and all, but people, mine are SOOO swollen. They're almost 3 times their normal size. What is worse is that the swelling doesn't just stop with my feet...it goes alllll the way up my ankles, calves and just slightly past the tops of my knees. This particular picture was taken 2 weeks ago, when I was in my 36th week of pregnancy. They had been bad prior to that for about 2 weeks, and yes, they are STILL this bad, and some days they are WORSE. This weekend I spent ALL DAY on Saturday on the couch with my feet up because the bottoms and tops of my feet were so bruised. Seriously, it hurts to walk. I have to continually flip sides when I'm sleeping because if I don't, one leg will be even more swollen and puffy when I wake up. Check 'em out:

Seriously, it's hard to tell where my ankles end and my calves begin!

...EVEN AT MY HEAVIEST WEIGHT, I NEVER HAD LEGS AS FAT/PUFFY AS THESE BABIES!! My feet and ankles are so swollen and have been this way for so long now that there are actual red creases in the tops of my feet. The skin is all smooth and shiny; it looks like I'm wearing baby oil but I'm not. It's just that the skin is stretched, and it's tight as a drum, and so it looks very shiny and wet. Scary, eh?

...All I can say is THANK GOD for the 2 parking spaces at the mall reserved for New Mothers and mothers-to-be because it sure makes life better when you're out-to-here preggo and your lower extremities look and feel like rubber gloves filled with water!! Wal-Mart needs these. And so does just about every other spot that pregnant women venture...SO! JUST NEARLY EVERYWHERE! They do have them at Babies-R-Us, though, but that is a given! A store that sells baby-stuff-only OUGHT to make concessions for expecting customers, right?! Great idea, Babies-R-Us! Great idea! Now if only Lowe's, Home Depot, Wal-Mart, the bank and post office and, OhMyGod, the OB's office and the HOSPITAL would just catch on to this, the world would be a much more pleasant place for Us. And by 'us' I mean, you know, preggies and New Mothers!

Answer Me THIS!!

Answer me this:

I want to know: How does Martha Stewart do it????

I have been perusing her website for the last hour, trying to wind down enough to go to sleep. But instead of getting sleepy, I am more excited than ever!! Why? Well, why not, I ask you? I mean, go take a look-see for yourself: all those projects - SO little time! I am envious of her creative ideas and skill. I am even more envious of her ability to get those things done and, of course, they are PURRRRfect once they're completed.

How, I ask you again, does one think of recipes (using the most expensive sh** that can never be found unless you live in a big city with a variety of food/cooking shops), tend a perfect garden, do all these crafts projects, run 2 or 3 print magazines PLUS oversee the online aspect of those magazines, cater to retail giants (KM and WM) and form THOSE alliances, appear on a daily television show where she must smile perfectly (or is that SMUGLY)...AND run a personal household, do her laundry, balance her checkbook, blah blah blah blah?

Going onto her website just got me depressed!! Well, depressed AND excited!! Because, while I am inspired by her wicked-good crafting/homekeepin g abilities, I am slightly saddened because, honestly, how can women keep up with her? Now my OCD has kicked in BIGTIME and I want to do a few of those projects on her website but, alas, my cup already runneth over with things To Do, so I am left longingly vying for that monochromatic, streamlined and elegant way of life right now, at 2:00 AM, more than EVER, I think, because I gotta baby on the way and have this twisted, strange notion that EVERYTHING MUST BE PERFECT before she can get here and come home already!! Shoot, none of our furniture even matches!! LOL. And, it is QUITE LIKELY that the baby's room will be the nicest one in the house!!! Sad but true!!!!! LOL.

Seriously, I know this woman's rich and has a staff of hundreds behind the scenes running all the branches of her business, but good golly! I have to wonder, is she truly happy? After all, just because things LOOK perfect does not necessarily mean things ARE perfect, right? Gosh!!

Now I really don't know if I can sleep!!! We have an OB appointment tomorrow and I am NOT looking forward to THAT. He's supposed to be doing a group B strep "swab" but quite frankly I am SICK of being looked at, examined, speculumed, pricked with needles, weighed. Sick of peeing in cups every month (and now every week!!), sick of being cuffed for blood pressure, and REAL SICK of him pushing all over my belly like it's a bowl of bread dough. The best part of the whole visit each time is getting to hear Molly's heart beat. That is the best and it always makes me smile.

Of course, so does the big fat Lot-A-Burger I'm going to try to eat after the appointment. Martha Stewart probably wouldn't approve of that, though. She would suggest a nice tomato salad followed by chicken picatta or some other crap like that, that I have no desire to taste. It sounds like a chicken picking either its nose or its butt, I haven't yet decided which. Anyway, all I know is that I don't want it and I'm not gonna let her make me perfection-crazy. NOTE TO SELF: Stay off the Martha Stewart website. From now on!!!!! I feel slightly less than human because I can't tie a most perfect bow, thanks to her!! I will fall asleep tonight with anxiety about how to become better at this or at that, and it's all her FAULT!!! LOL. I need a Martha Stewart antidote, and I think a handful of Ranch-flavored Ruffles might just do the trick.

UGH. Hormoneshormoneshor mones.

Health Concerns...

Tuesday (yesterday) was crazy busy! First we had an OB appointment. Then it was down to the lab for the 1-hour glucose tolerance test to see if I am at risk for gestational diabetes. Then, finally, from 6 to 8:30, we had our very first childbirth education/lamaaz class! We did not even get back home until around ten last night!

Today (Wednesday) I get a phone call from my OB nurse telling me that my sugar was high. It was 163 and should have been 130 or under. So. Tomorrow (Thursday) I have to go and get my blood taken 4 times for the 3-hour glucose tolerance test. No eating or drinking (not even water!) after midnight tonight! I am not even allowed to leave the lab area tomorrow. I am going to be SO bored. Sick out of my gourd from dumping syndrome (related to gastric bypass surgery and it happens to a LOT of people when they eat/drink something sweet) and I have to sit there for 3 stupid hours? I am sooooooo not looking forward to that. I was going to hop over to the hospital and pre-admit myself in labor and delivery so that we would not have to bother with it when the time actually gets here to deliver but as I said, they will not even allow you to leave the lab area.

Anyway, people tell me that I could pass the 3-hour test just fine, but I am afraid that I have the full blown GD. They told me today that I also have anemia and have to take iron pills, starting NOW. Happy, happy, joy, joy. I swear, if it’s not one thing it is another.

So, STRESSED OUT is how I’m feeling. I know I shouldn’t stress, of course, but it’s hard when something upsets your life like that! I do NOT want to be on meds and I do NOT want to have to take insulin shots!! And quite honestly, I do not know if I have the willpower it will take to follow a diabetic diet. Perhaps THAT is what worries me the most out of this whole experience.

Want to hear something funny? Well. After I got the call from the OB’s office I got sooooo scared and nervous and freaked out. I needed to wax my eyebrows, and that usually really relaxes me. So. I go into the bathroom, remove my glasses and apply the warm wax to my brows, put a brow paper on them, wait a few seconds and smooth the area, and then decided to pull it off. WELL! I gasped out loud when I pulled the paper off…OMG, I have taken off HALF of my left brow!!! I am completely mortified now. I look like a boxer or something. ONLY HALF AN EYEBROW. Now, how’s that for a little stress relief??? So then I had to get into the HOT, HOT shower just to relax myself from THAT whole experience.

Yee gads, what a day.

On a happier note, my Aunt Penny left me this beautiful rose today. I was SO surprised and it pleased me a lot. It’s the most perfect rose I think I have ever seen!

I don’t know when she brought it, or if she had the flower shop deliver it or what because I never heard the doorbell ring and the dogs never barked, so I don’t know. Anyway, it really brightened my day. The past 2 days have been pretty crappy and stressful. I’m hoping the rest of the week will be better! I should know by Friday the results of my 3-hour GTT and I will keep ya’ll posted…

Another Update!

Last week I had a couple of different doctor’s appointments. See, I’ve been having major trouble with my ears since March. My PCP wouldn’t do anything due to me being preggers, and just dismissed it and told me to take Claritin or Benadryl or something. Well, I’ve BEEN taking Benadryl and it has done absolutely no good. My OB recommended Sudafed, but we bought the Sudafed and then read the insert and I can’t take that due to other medicines I’m on. He recommended seeing an ENT.

Sooooo…last week I finally got in to see Dr. Welch in Claremore. To make a long story short, he basically told me my ear drums have a lot of scarring (duh) from all the ear infections I had as a baby/child/adolescent and that the only thing he suggested (since there isn’t any fluid behind the drum) is an MRI of the brain to rule out an unruptured cerebral aneurism. Oh, great!

He says he has no explanation for the echoing in my left ear and the pain in my right ear. The drums are clear, they are not bulging or erythematous. They did tympanograms on me and a series of hearing tests and both were slightly abnormal. Seriously, both of my ears have given me problems since March and it’s so painful and annoying! I can literally hear my heartbeat and the blood rising in the jugular vein in my neck. It’s kind of disgusting really and a lot of times I don’t know how loudly I am really talking because I can’t discern that because, to tell you the truth, I hear EVERYTHING about 10 times louder in that left ear. I can hear myself breathing. It’s really weird. And my right ear has consistently hurt and given me problems. I see spots. The other night I got kind of worried because I couldn’t see out of my right eye!! It was just all black and spotted. I couldn’t see the words I was typing, so I quit working for a while and went and took a nap. I lose my balance a lot, and have since my ear trouble began, but I just chalked it up to gaining weight and just being naturally unbalanced because of the pregnancy. I’ve been really dizzy at times, too, even stumbling into walls and almost falling backward on a few occasions. I’m not normally a clumsy person but I have been since March!! LOL. And like I said, I really wasn’t TOO concerned because I know you can get dizzy when you’re pregnant.

So Tuesday I see my OB again. I swear, it feels like for the last 6 months I have done nothing but run to doctors. Anyway, we see the OB again Tuesday and I’m supposed to ask him if I should wait until Molly is born to have this MRI done, or what. I’m pretty sure he’ll want me to wait (and I hope to heck he DOES want me to wait…I’m really scared to have an MRI done) but I’m also afraid because what if I have an aneurysm during childbirth???!!! All that pushing and straining just CAN’T be good for the veins in your head, right?? So. Now I’ve got something ELSE to worry about.

Anyway.

After we left the ENT’s office we went to Choteau to eat at the Dutch Pantry. This is the second time we’ve been there in the last 2 weeks. Yum, it is sooooo good. It’s down home cookin’ and it’s all you can eat. For me, that really isn’t a bargain since I can’t really pig out, but oh Lord it is such good food! Amish women make all of it, too, and that place is ALWAYS busy. They’re really friendly people, and they have a very clean town, from what we have seen of it, anyway.

After we ate lunch we ventured to the Amish Cheese House. We bought a loaf of homemade wheat bread, a handmade candle, homemade jellies and jams. We’d taken along an ice chest with us so that Todd could get some lunch meats and cheeses to pack to work. Here are some pictures of him making his selections…

…I know, I know, I got a little camera happy!


From the Cheese House we ventured over to South Grand Lake and the Spavinaw area to look at the water. We climbed a HUGE flight of stairs and wound up overlooking the dam there. Here we are at the very top…

We were going to go to Dairy Queen in Grove but we were both still STUFFED from our lunch at The Dutch Pantry! Also, we were going to go by and see Dr. Teresa in Fairland but I called and her secretary said she wasn’t there. I found out later that she had taken the afternoon off to go home to can peaches and make yummies like peach jam, peach butter and peach jelly! She told me tonight how INDUSTRIOUS she has been all weekend. Girl, YOU ARE MY HERO!!! The most industrious thing I’ve done all weekend is load the dishwasher! Hahahaha

Saturday and Sunday, I didn’t leave the house. I worked a lot Saturday, but Sunday I just took it easy and napped with the doggies on the couch! Felt gooooood! Todd brought home Chinese food for dinner, so I didn’t even have to cook! J What an awesome hubby I have. I’m so thankful for him.

You know, I really try not to do a lot of griping on this blog because it’s my kid’s blog. But I’m about tired of the negative feedback/comments we’ve been getting on the name we have chosen for our baby! Seriously, folks: IT AIN’T YOUR KID!! Go have your own kid or grandkid and name it whatever you want, but don’t announce to me or my husband that you don’t like the name that WE have picked out for OUR BABY! This is really ticking me off lately. Maybe it’s hormones, but good grief!

When you have a child enter your life, it has been my experience that the naming (oh, and the shopping!) are a few of the funnest parts of the whole experience. Great care and a lot of thought goes into naming your children. After all, parents choose names they like, names that make THEM happy and names that make THEM smile. Some parents choose more common names, and hey, that’s great if that is what they want to do. And some names, like our selection of Molly Piper, are based solely on the facts that we know absolutely no one else with this name, and that the name (to us, anyway) makes us happy when we say it. WE think it has a nice ring to it. WE didn’t want to name our kid after someone else in our family, though for many parents this is what they choose to do and hey, that’s great for them…

When I think of the name Molly Piper, I think of this cute little redheaded girl (red on the head like her daddy!), a little ornery (like her mommy), a little daredevil (again, like mommy) but sweet and VERY down to Earth (like her daddy). I think of blue eyes, like Todd’s gray-blue eyes, fair skin (like both Todd and I have) and just a very outgoing girl (again, like mommy!). There are a LOT of other names I adore but Todd vetoed most all of them. Meredith, Audrey, Isabelle. Nope, nope and nope, said Todd. And don’t even get me started on the time we had choosing a boy’s name! I promise, if we end up delivering a boy instead of a girl (hey, you never know, it could ALWAYS happen to us and HAS in fact happened to a lot of people we know) then we are stumped because I don’t think we ever solidly agreed on a boy’s name. I guess that’s okay, though. We still have 12 weeks and then 2 days in the hospital to decide that, should it happen…

Anyway, my gripe of the day: If you don’t like my kid’s name, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. I wouldn’t dream of telling someone some of the things we’ve been told about Molly’s name. I think it’s just plain rude and pretty tacky. Like I said, you name your brat what you want and I’ll name my little brat what **I** want. Capishe??


Something I am really beginning to get excited about is Molly’s baby shower. I’m going to be kind of embarrassed, everybody looking at me while I open gifts and stuff, but I’m still really excited about it. People keep asking what we need and the answer is NOTHING! We have absolutely EVERYTHING we need already. It just has to be put together and set up but there is really nothing that we are in need of. My friend Traci, whose little Ainsley just turned 3 months old, she has this brilliant organization system going on in the baby’s closet and I’m totally going to be a copy cat and do the same thing. In fact, I’m hoping to hit Target or Babies R Us sometime this week to buy the stuff so I can start working on Molly’s closet. Right now, it’s a disaster! It’s piled high with baby clothes, toys, bedding, baby gear, and what’s been started of our Christmas shopping for our families. I still have two huge bags of baby clothes my friend Rhonda gave me that I need to go through and sort out. I promise, we are in need of NOTHING, and what we do need is pretty much just a long-range baby monitor, a big cushy glider rocker with an ottoman and a breast pump. LOL. But, these are all things we are buying ourselves, and I’m not even thinking about getting a pump until the baby has been home a week or so and I’m sure I can breastfeed. I don’t want to throw away good money (and they can get pretty expensive!) if I am unable to breastfeed and I don’t feel comfortable at this point renting one from the hospital. And the monitor is something we feel we need to pick out ourselves because Todd wants one with a long range on it, and we want a monitor with 2 listeners (I forgot what that part’s called) and I would even like to find one with a waterproof listener so it can go in the shower with me. And the rocker? That’s a big ticket item and I’m kind of picky about the style because I want a nice one with padded arm rests and pockets on the side to hold stuff.

This is going to be another busy week for me. I need to get the items for Molly’s closet, first and foremost. Tuesday we have another doctor’s appointment and I also have to take my glucose tolerance test for gestational diabetes. After that test, we have our first Childbirthing class (lamaze, labor & delivery, whatever it’s called!) and I’m excited about that. On Wednesday, I have a La Leche League meeting in Owasso and HOPEFULLY I’ll be able to go get this Pottery Barn book case for Molly Piper's room...

I don't know, though. It's so big I'd probably have to drive Todd's truck and I've never driven it because it's so big and I'm scared I'll smack into something backing out or whatever!!! But I don't know if this dollhouse book shelf will fit in the Toyota or not, unless it's in pieces. Todd works on Wednesday so he can't go with me, and Friday (his next day off) he's got plans of his own and more than likely won't want to go all the way to Tulsa to fetch a book case. I'm sure he WOULD, but I know he's got stuff to do and I don't want to take him away from that. Saturday, we're going to a party of some friends of ours, and I can't wait! I have to think of a dish to make and bring and buy the groceries for that this week.

I'm also supposed to be starting class on August 18 but haven't decided what to do about that yet. I don't handle stress very well at all and I'm afraid if I do go back to school this semester I'll be flipping out before too long, what with working AND preparing for baby AND studying. Just thinking about all that together makes me tired!

Soooo...I think I'll call it a night. Good night! :)

WoW, turned upside down, spells MoM!! :)

Wow! That’s all I can say. Wow!!

This week marks my 28th week of pregnancy, meaning I’m getting ready to enter the third trimester. Wow! It has really gone by very quickly for me and now we’re really getting down to the wire. Only 12 weeks left, if Molly Piper Watts doesn’t decide to make an earlier appearance. I hope she’s not late, though. I don’t want to be miserably pregnant but at least it’ll be November and not hot like it has been the last few weeks.

My body is really changing. Sometime over the last few weeks it seems like I’ve grown this huge belly! I’m up to a 15-pound weight gain and trying not to fret or worry about it! But back to the belly: Some days it’s really huge! Then other days (like today) you really can’t even tell I have a baby in there! She has REALLY been kicking a lot and it feels like nothing else I’ve ever experienced. I’m in awe, truly. My boobs are bigger, of course, LOL, along with my ankles, but again, on days like today, there is absolutely no lower extremity swelling. Could it be because I’ve been resting all day today? Maybe! Todd had to work this weekend so I camped out on the couch most of the day and watched TV and snoozed. It felt sooooooooooo good!

It’s been a pretty relaxing day and evening, actually. I just climbed out of the tub, where I spent over an hour, soaking and reading this month’s Women’s Health. I should have lit some pretty candles and made a cup of hot tea but didn’t think about doing so until I was already in the water. Oh well! There’s always tomorrow night! Hahaha

Something that kept entering my mind: Will I get to take a relaxing soak here and there after the baby gets here? I know Todd will take care of her while I’m indulging in this relaxing ritual, but still…I just wonder sometimes JUST HOW dramatically our lives will change. I know, I know: It’s GONNA change, no doubt about that…

Gone will be the days when we can just steal away to Wal-Mart in the middle of the day. Babies need naps, and they need a schedule. And we’ve been in the store at midnight before and some parent will have their toddler out and the kid’s all fussy and whiny and I just shake my head and think “That poor baby needs to be in bed asleep!”

Gone will be the days of the last minute night out. What are we gonna do tonight? Oh, I don’t know, how about bowling? How about a movie? Well, not after the baby gets here. Sure, we can still do things, but it’s going to take planning ahead and securing a sitter, pumping so she’ll be able to eat while we’re away from her, packing the diaper bag, blah blah blah…

While I know that there ARE inevitable changes on the horizon, I’m very excited about these changes. After all, I’ve wanted to have a baby for what seems like SO long now! And, good grief, I’m 31. I will be the first to admit that the focus of my life has taken an entire shift because it is NOT about me anymore. It’s not even about Todd anymore. It’s about our baby who’ll be here in just 12 short weeks! Everything that I have done so far has been for her. My mind is always on the baby and my desire to make sure she is happy and healthy both before she arrives and after she gets here. The direction of my life has taken a sharp turn for what I feel is the better! And I’m excited about that.

I have to admit, it blows my mind just a bit that I’ll soon be someone’s mother. I don’t know how to be a mother, not really. I don’t have siblings. Sure, I babysat and stuff like that, but it’s not like I was around other kids 24/7 and assumed a motherly or sisterly role. Todd is in the same boat as me, too, bless his heart. I know he feels he doesn’t know how to be a father. He has no siblings either, and he didn’t grow up with a father figure just like I didn’t grow up with a mother figure. We are both TOTALLY clueless! But while we may be clueless, we are content in knowing that we have each other and WE get to make the family that WE never had!! And while we haven’t discussed this aspect of parenthood a great deal, I think it is an unspoken truth between us. We understand it because we each know where the other is coming from. And with that, we can take our pasts and what we’ve learned to do (or NOT to do, in our case) and just like every other new parent, go forward armed only with the best intentions and the unconditional love that we know we already have for Molly, our little one. I think all of this will only serve to make us a stronger, happier family. WE will not make the choice to leave our child, not ever. WE are choosing to break that cycle.

13 Weeks, Waiting for Her...

Well, it looks like everything is coming up roses! Life is great, home is great, Todd is great and I am great! Work rocks and I am very blessed with having time to get ready for BABY GIRL WATTS...

Folks, I am OFFICIALLY almost 27 weeks pregant, and I'm doing GREAT! I've had a few contractions, and have had trouble breathing, but according to my doctor and others, this is completly normal. Having never had a baby before, I was concerned about the tummy pains but the more I've been reading, I'm finding that it is just my body adjusting to all these changes and getting ready for childbirth....Speaking of which, we start our labor/lamaze classes next week! I'm excited! Well, I start back to school AND we start our L&D classes next week...so for the next 3 months or so, life is gonna be crazy...or, well...for the next 3 months and 18 years??!! :)
I am gaining more weight, and kind of flipping out about that a little bit but I know, I know I'm being foolish. I've gained around 14 pounds so far. The doctor is pleased. Wish I could say the same, but I just have this huge fear of being huge again. HA! Anyway, I know some of the weight comes from water, which I have been holding PLENTY OF THAT. Seriously, my feet and ankles, all the way up to my kness, well, there are plenty of days when they are so swollen and painful I don't know what to do. Again, the doctor says this is normal but jee whiz...it sure is a LOT of SWELLING for only being in the end of the second trimester! I had a health scare last week sometime, but that resolved itself, thank God! I thought I had blood clots in my left leg but it turned out that I didn't, and I am sooooooo relieved and so thankful for that. Anyway, right now nothing is fitting me right. I bought a few new shirts at Gap but I'm STILL trying to hold off on buying maternity pants...I just hate to spend all that money on pants I won't be able to wear but for another few months! So, I've been utilizing the BellyBands that I bought several months ago, but have not needed until now. I'm finding the most comfortable attire right now to be DRESSES! They keep me cooler and make me feel feminine, not like I feel like I just swallowed a watermelon! LOL.

We've had LOTS of excitement the last month or so. Buttons got VERY sick and had to have bladder surgery, like, pronto, so we were dealing with a very sick girl for about 3 weeks. She got sprayed by a skunk the night before we took her in for surgery, the little turkey! I was up bathing her at 2 AM but unfortunately couldn't get the smell out of her fur. EW! I like skunk smell, but only in passing...not on the dog! ;-) Anyway, then we had a big gas leak here at our house and Charlotte (kitty) got sick, I think, from the fumes. She is all right now, though, thank goodness. Todd fixed the leak and we're good as new. Hopefully. LOL. Now we're gearing up to repair the roof, put a new bathroom floor and toilet in, get these screendoors made and hung, call the cable company to re-route my Internet to the kitchen (a corner of which will soon become my new office/study). I have to make a curtain for our bedroom and get all the baby stuff in order after the nursery is painted and the picket fence is hung on the walls. Todd has some trees in our yard that he is wanting to cut down and take out, but whether he is able to get to THAT right now or not is the question...my, oh, my....we have a LOT of other things to get done before that happens, but we simply cannot afford to have another huge ice storm like we did last year and risk a tree falling over on our house. Last year's storm killed 2 of our trees and they just really need to be out of here. In between all of that, Todd goes up and mows his mom's and grandma's yards because they simply don't need to be out in this heat doing it themselves. Plus, I think he likes using his new toy, the mower, so I never complain.

We have had several new adventures in the past few weeks. We bought a truck one week, Todd bought a new Cub Cadet zero turn mower the next, and then finally we broke down and bought a trailer to haul it on. The trailer was the hardest to find; ya'll know I'm a bargain shopper! Anyway, we had to go to Broken Arrow to get it, and we ended up spending most of the day there. Todd bought it from a retired man who makes them, and it's perfect for Todd. I keep joking that this week we need to buy a boat, and then NEXT week we'll buy an RV, and then we'll be ALLLlllllll set, and we'll even be able to take the baby camping in comfort next year instead of having her be all cooped up in a hot tent. Of course, my wise-about-money hubby just laughs! :) And when one of us laughs, we are usually laughing together! LOL.

Alright, the one you've probably all been waiting for....pictures of our little girl!

Her name is going to be Molly Piper and we're expecting her on November 6th! Hopefullyy, she'll not arrive a day sooner because we have SO much stuff to do.

Todd is working on the screen doors for the nursery tomorrow (Monday). We want to keep all 7 of our furry children OUT of the baby's room and off her stuff! The kitties all pretty much believe they own the place, and they act like it, too. So, to avoid any dangers where the animals are concerned, we're just hanging screen doors on both doors of Molly's room.

We are having the nursery painted this month, then we'll hang the picket fence on the walls.

After that, Todd can start putting all the furniture and the stroller combo together and I can start decorating her room. We have everything, absolutely EVERYTHING we need, but cannot seem to find a baby monitor we both like. Todd thinks it needs to have a long range on it and we can't find one with a long enough range. Babies 'R Us, if I remember correctly, was out of them the last time we checked.

She already has a TON of clothes...and my good friend Dr. T keeps sending the CUTEST things. Every week, she sends us a package. It's like Christmas comes once a week and it's so much fun to open the little packages! Sometimes I try to wait for Todd to get home so he can open some, too, but usually curiosity gets the best of me and I have to rip into it the minute I bring it in from the mailbox! Thanks Teresa! YOU ARE THE BEST!!! :)

We recently celebrated our 3rd anniversary, and I have to say that I am sooo blessed with such an awesome husband. I know GOD was involved when He led us to each other because Todd's presence in my life has answered every prayer I've ever had. He is my rock and he's SUCH a good-hearted man. Genuine, kind, loving...OMG, I could blab on and on and on about him, but I won't, in case he is reading this! LOL. It would just make his face turn RED! LOL. Anyway, we are happy and he makes me happy every single day of our lives together. Sure, there have been a few patchy spots but we got through 'em and have been over 'em for a while now. The first year and a half was the hardest, but now I can't imagine my world without the Love of My Life in it. He is going to be SUCH an awesome daddy to Molly Piper.

Boy or Girl??

Well, the ultrasound on 06/17/08 told us we were having a GIRL!!!! I shrieked in the procedure room, I was so surprised!!

To date, I have had 4 dreams and 2 muscle tests revealing that we're having a boy. So...I'm a little confused at this point. The ultrasound guy says he is 99% sure it's a girl...but my friend, Dr. Teresa Jackson, says the body does not lie and her muscle testing reveals that it is a boy. And what about the 4 dreams I've had? Hmm?

Honestly, we really do not care if this baby is a boy or a girl. Of course, I am mainly prepared for a girl in the clothes department, but that is something that can be easily remedied (as I LOVE to shop!). All we care is that the baby arrives healthy, full-term, and that he/she is happy!

We SURELY will find out on Saturday, July 19th, during our 4D ultrasound exactly if it is a boy or a girl. They do a gender check on the baby as well as let you see their facial features and you also get to see the baby moving around in the womb. I'm really excited about it, too.

If it's a girl, her name will be Molly Piper Watts. If it's a boy, his name will more than likely be Griffin Tate Watts, but we haven't completely decided on a boy's name yet. This is the one we've agreed on, though not "officially".

So for all you out there who actually bothered to vote in my poll over to the left...I will let you know on SATURDAY if we have a Molly or a Griffin in there! :) Oh, and now that I'm feeling better, I promise to update more frequently.

Thanks so much for reading!

xoxox

liz

An Overdue Update!

Hey, everybody! What’s happening? A LOT going on here! I am looooong overdue for an update on here… sorry for the wait, people! I have been busy working (trying to make up for those few months when I was so sick and didn’t feel worth a darn) and we have traveled here and there. This past week, we bought a truck! We have been TRYING to motivate ourselves to start on the MANY projects to be done around the house before Baby Watts gets here, but so far, nothing. I know I need to make phone calls to the cable company, get a computer armoire ordered, go through my Mary Kay stuff and either give it away or sell it. We have baby furniture to put together (right now it’s all up in the attic), a roof to repair, new doors to put on the nursery, a carpet to shampoo, a bathroom floor to fix… And the list seems like it grows every week, all the things we need or should do before November. It’s REALLY overwhelming.



We start our childbirthing classes August 12th. This past week I have THOUGHT I’ve experienced mild contractions, but I’m not sure. It sure feels like what are described as contractions; there is a slight tightening of my tummy every now and again. Today, I was reading on the couch, and I SAW THE BABY ROLL!!! It was soooo strange-looking! It felt weird, too, but this kid is pretty active in there. A few weeks ago I became concerned because I felt no kicks for over a day, but then I ate something sweet and began to feel movement again. I was soooo relieved.



We have another appointment this Tuesday, July 15th, and then on July 19th we are scheduled for a 4D ultrasound in Tulsa, and I’m really excited about that. I can’t wait to see all the facial features! I am planning to have one now, at 24 weeks (6 months) and then again at around 35 weeks or so, when the baby has accumulated more fat, but we’ll see how that pans out! We may just be too busy with baby preparations to mess with a second 4D, I don’t know. Like I said, we’ll see!



I have also been dealing with some personal things. I found out some things that have totally changed the way I view my childhood and the way I grew up, but I am finding a way to deal with that and forgive and try and let go and get past it. After all, my sadness or anger at the situation cannot and will not change anything. I know those involved did what they did at the time to protect me. Still, it’s a big huge blow and kind of turned my world upside down, but I am finding a way to deal with it personally. I just wish I knew all of these things sooner in my life and have often wondered why no one made it a point to tell me, but that is beside the point. Everything happens for a reason—at least, that has always been my motto—and I feel the same way about all of this stuff. I sure am thankful to have such a great husband, though. He cares for me like no one else ever has, and I am forever greatful to God that He put Todd in my life. We are really good for each other and honestly, I couldn’t ask for a better husband or father for our baby! He is so genuine and I can truly be myself around him, and he STILL loves me! Hahaha. He makes me laugh just as easily now as he did the night I met him! Through him, I am learning so much even about myself. As I said, I am so greatful.



The past 3 months have been filled with more cheeseburgers than I have ever eaten in my life! I started craving them like crazy a few months back and one week I dragged Todd to Lot-A-Burger 3 times! My dad took me there once that week… So that means I ate cheeseburgers 4 times in one week alone!! My current food cravings consist of fruit. You name it, I am probably lovin’ it right now: Bananas, cantaloupe, cherries, seedless grapes… And over the last 2 weeks I have devoured two or three watermelons!!! There’s actually one sitting on the counter right now, just waiting to be sliced. I think I’ll cut it up tomorrow morning and have some for breakfast. I am also loving this V-8 Splash that my friends Kathy and Morgan told me about. It’s soooo good, and it doesn’t make me swell up like a blowfish like regular V-8 seems to do!


I have also been to water aerobics. It’s really tiring, but I like it and hope to go back soon if it ever stops raining!



I cannot believe it’s already the middle of July. It still blows my mind to think that this time next year, our child will be 8 months old. WOW!


Here are pictures of me, taken at approximately 6 months…

MIA in April '08

Unfortunately, this has not been a good month for me. So far, I’m 12 weeks along and for the last 6 weeks or so I have just been beside myself. For the last 4 or 5, I have not even BEEN myself. I am having trouble recognizing my thoughts, feelings, emotions. I really don’t understand my emotions lately, when I have really always been good at knowing myself and being able to name my feelings.

My doctor and many others chalk it up to hormones. But the thing is, I am seriously depressed. It is beginning to lift, though, I can feel it. But in the meantime, the entire month has sucked! My OB took me off my antidepressant and instead of April progressing from bad to better, instead it went from bad to worse. I have had what feels like a sinus infection/ear infection for the last 3 weeks and when I went to see the doc about that, she didn’t give me anything for it because I’m pregnant. So, my left ear has been giving me trouble nearly 3 weeks and I can’t even open my mouth all the way because of the pain radiating to my jaw. The nausea is markedly improved, although I still feel nauseous in the afternoons/evenings some days. I have had an increase in crampy sensations and after my exam on Monday my entire lower body has been aching like crazy. I don’t know if that is normal or not, and I called the OB’s office today but they have not called me back. Hopefully I will get to question them about this on Monday sometime. It’s not the type of cramping I had when I was miscarrying, but it is still really kind of annoying and uncomfortable and of course it concerns me.

Today, I have not been able to keep anything down. Everything keeps getting stuck on me and Todd is urging me to make yet another appointment with the gastroenterologist for an endoscopy and dilation. I have PROMISED myself that I will call Monday and see if they are even willing to see me, seeing as how they have to administer anesthesia to put me under and I don’t know if they’re comfortable with doing that on someone who’s preggo. I don’t want to harm my baby, but I also cannot eat much without puking and it is progressively getting worse and it’s NOT because of nausea. Trust me, getting something stuck feels nothing like throwing up from being sick to your tummy. Instead, it feels like there’s a fist ramming into your upper chest. It’s not a good thing.

So. Along with the sinus/ear infection/moderate-but-gradually improving nausea/suspected esophageal stricture situation, I have had a real problem with withdrawal and depression for the past month. I got out a little last week, though. Monday I chose to go to a meeting but couldn’t pull my head out of my butt enough to enjoy it. Tuesday night I met my cuz Amy for dinner in Tulsa. Wednesday I stayed home. Thursday night I had class and I can’t remember what I did on Friday. Probably nothing. In fact, from Friday to Sunday, I planted my fat butt on the couch and didn’t move except to go to the loo. I didn’t shower. I know, that is really gross, right? I even slept on the couch, too. I mean, I just felt diminished and deteriorated and defeated.

I haven’t returned anyone’s calls or texts in almost a month. I know people are worried. I hate that I am being like this but right now I feel extremely overwhelmed and consumed with myself. I feel like I really NEED my antidepressant but again, I don’t want to harm my baby. The drug I was on, the Emsam transdermal patch, has only been on the market for a year and my OB said that there is just no data to confirm the safety of it being used by pregnant women. So. There you have it.

What annoys me is that some people just chalk it up to “hormones”. Yes, I know hormones are a big part of my problem right now but the truth is that I have been clinically depressed for years. Why would it just “go away” because I’m pregnant? Why would hormones be the only cause? Why is it that some folks, doctors mainly, fail to see the importance of keeping women ON their meds instead of yanking them off and expecting it all just to “be okay?” If you’ve never suffered from depression, you haven’t a clue what the hell I’m talking about but if you have then I’m sure you can identify.

I know I’m only 12 weeks along and all and I’m really hoping that my “hormones” even out real soon because I am getting on my own nerves. I hate it that I’ve ignored so many of my friends, my family. I hate it that I have been in such a funk that I refused to go to the door when my dad or a little girl that I know, comes by to see me. I haven’t returned calls, emails or text messages…simply because I am not capable of it right now. I dropped out of school because I just can’t handle the stress of everything. Not right now. I actually left dirty dishes in the sink on 2 or 3 occasions, and the sink was crammed full of dirty dishes, which I think is disgusting and I never do that. But yeah, this past month I have. Todd has come home from long days at work and actually unloaded the dishwasher and then loaded it back up, just because I “didn’t feel up to it”. It’s a wonder he hasn’t kicked my tail yet, but he’s been wonderful through all of this. He’s my greatest support and I’m thankful for him. He’s gotten us takeout when I haven’t felt like making dinner. He’s brought me my favorite pasta salad from the deli we like in Bartlesville. He’s made me bowls of sherbet while we’re watching the tube. And, bless his heart, he cleans out the litter boxes EVERY NIGHT because I’m not supposed to be messing with it, and he never complains. He is the BEST.

I keep trying to talk myself into feeling better. Coax, actually. I am kind of envious of those women who beam and float around on Cloud 9 while they’re knocked up because I sure don’t feel that way and haven’t except for maybe the first few weeks. I LOVE that we’re having a baby and I feel very BLESSED and yes, I’m truly EXCITED, but I just don’t feel all mushy-gushy-happy-go-lucky like I believe I should. You know, the media always hypes about postpartum depression, but what about depression WHILE you’re pregnant? Surely I can’t be the only person who’s ever felt so…cruddy. Right?

On a lighter and more exciting note, my belly is kinda starting to show. I’m not sure how I feel about that yet. One thing I fear is that people will want to touch my stomach! I have always been a touchy-feely kind of girl, but I just don’t know how I feel about this specific thing. I do like boundaries and I just don’t know if I’m comfortable enough yet with my body to tolerate people putting their hands in my personal space. Hmmm. Hopefully I will change my view on this as the time goes on because I know that it happens and people are naturally curious, but jeez! My aunt reached out to touch me and I jumped back like I’d been bitten. Now, had she tried to hug me or something, that wouldn’t have phased me. But please, people, keep your hands to yourself where my gut is concerned! Hehheehe




I have an interest in this prenatal yoga class in Tulsa but with gas being so high I can’t justify driving there twice a week to participate. I am getting ready to start working part time again, with the public. I NEED a reason to get up and get dressed and leave the house, you know? I love working at home but my uniform is my pajamas and house shoes, and I sit around here with no makeup, hair all a mess, and then at the end of the day I am usually still in my jammies. That’s ridiculous! So, I’ve made the decision to continue working out of my house but I HAVE to get out at least 3 or 4 times a week and I have always enjoyed working with the public, so I am thinking that will help me feel better. And, the extra money certainly can’t hurt, right? Sure, gas is high but I look at this as more of a necessity than a luxury because it’s for my mental health. LOL.

If you’re reading this and I have been out of touch, please accept my most sincere apologies. I honestly have not intended to alienate or block out anyone…all I can say is I’m sorry and I hope you all understand. For everybody involved, please know that it is NOT a personal attack on/against you…this is just all I am capable of right now but I feel like it is beginning to get better. At least, I really hope so.

Fear and Loathing

For the last week I’ve had WNS…Wet Noodle Syndrome…that’s exactly how I feel. Like a big, fat, floppy, wet noodle. I haven’t done much except work, and even then it’s been half-heartedly. Mostly, I have slept, lay on the couch, watch a boat load of TV in between sleeping TOO much! I’m depressed about the pain I know is inevitable, I’m depressed because I’m afraid I won’t make a good mother, I’m nervous about being responsible for another living being for the rest of my life (or at least the next 18 years). I’m scared of my kid being messy. I’m afraid what the cats will do/think when we bring home the baby. I’m upset with weight gain, my face breaking out, and those “unexpected” bills that have come up for me recently. I’m depressed because my OB requires his patients to “pre-pay” for his services, but even with insurance this unexpected bill makes me a bit nervous! I haven’t been out of the house in days and have been nauseous and felt too badly to attend my scrapbooking retreat that I paid dearly to attend this weekend. I’m mad at myself because of my protein woes I wrote about last time. All I want are sweets, but they make me SICK. Still, I eat them. Then I get sick. So I get even more upset with myself for eating the sweets I know I’m not supposed to have. For the last 2 weeks, I’ve been hit and miss on my prenatals, and I KNOW, KNOW, KNOW how important they are! It’s been CRAZY, the stuff I’m not doing. Taking the prenatals, just ingesting them, make my tummy feel ill and so I don’t WANT them! But I know how very important they are.

I saw a commercial the other night with Sarah McLauchlan and all these poor, helpless, beaten, sad-looking animals. It was for the ASPCA, I believe. Anyway, I just boo hooed. It really put me in a funk and I can’t seem to drag myself out of that funk. I don’t know why I just didn’t change the stupid channel. I’ve seen that commercial before and it did the SAME thing to me and I wasn’t even pregnant at the time! Still, why didn’t I just change the channel? UGH! Now I feel like poo and I’m letting everything bother me and I just sleep all the time. I haven’t had a B12 shot in almost a month because last time Todd gave it to me he hit a nerve in my hip and I thought I was going to hit the ceiling. SO. Haven’t wanted one of THOSE anytime recently. But still, I know the B12 is REQUIRED after gastric bypass surgery, and even more important for me now that I’m responsible for nourishing another life! Aaaah, the PRESSURE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve got to turn this around. I’ve got a busy month ahead of me and no time to just lie around in my own funk, being depressed about stuff that I know I have no control over. I know labor is going to hurt like nothing else I’ve ever experienced, and that makes me question…WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO? Terrible, I know. I am excited to have a baby, this is what I have wanted for a long, long time. But every day, it is more real to me that it’s going to HURT. I’m really scared. I hate needles; I do NOT want an epidural in my SPINE!!!!!!!!!!! If I could find a place, I would elect to have my baby at a place where they don’t even use IV therapy in the mothers. Oklahoma is so ass-backwards, though, I doubt if any place like that exists around here. The needles coming out of my arms will only make me THAT much more anxious and scared. For the past week I have just wanted to crawl into a hole and cover my head and not think about anything but getting through the next minute of my life. I have a lot of anxiety about the messes kids make, too. Like, while they are eating. What am I going to do???? I hate messes. I hate disorganization. I hate not knowing what lies ahead. I’m really scared about everything, and it’s just taken hold the past 6 days or so. The feelings of despair have gotten worse, not better, and I don’t know exactly what to do about it yet.

The good news is that this week I will be 10 weeks along. I have been so sick to my stomach and the Preggie Pops work but I am stubborn about taking them. I’m hoping and praying that within the next few weeks the sickness will go away and STAY AWAY. Sometimes it lasts all day and sometimes I am fine in the morning, and then it will start in the afternoons. Whoever deemed it MORNING SICKNESS was seriously deluded…

Protein Woes

As a gastric bypass patient, I have been dedicated my entire journey to getting at least 100 grams of protein per day for the past two years since my surgery. Unfortunately, pregnancy has completely changed all of that.

I tried and fell in love with AchievOne, this DELICIOUS protein drink that one of my support group buddies recommended to our group. Nevermind that it’s 37.00 for a case of 12 bottles, I didn’t care because I LIKED it. Well, that is, I liked it before I got pregnant. Now, I don’t know why it has to be this way, but pregnancy simply changes a woman’s tastes, or so it seems. Almost overnight, I developed a STRONG aversion to my beloved AchievOne drinks (which, in a way, I’m glad because of the expense) and am finding it harder and harder to choke down ANYTHING related to my protein regimen. And this makes me a sad momma!

Before becoming pregnant, I could get in 100 to 120 grams of protein per day. Most of my protein intake came from protein powders and supplements and ready-to-drink proteins like the AchievOne. I’m not a big meat eater and because of these braces on my teeth I have trouble chewing food anyway, so obviously I had to find a do-able source for nutrition. Now, though? Fuggetaboudit. The thought of protein…the mere THOUGH…turns my stomach. Right now, I’m sipping on an EAS ready-to-drink carb control that offers up 17g of protein, but I wince with every drink. It’s not that I dislike the stuff now…it’s just that I would RATHER be eating something salty, or carb-y or a combination of salty and carb-y!

Todd bought a jar of Vlassic Zesty Dill Stackers. The entire jar lasted less than 24 hours and he didn’t get even one pickle! I polished off an entire jar of manzanillo olives and bought more within 2 days. Each time, I washed the pickles and olives down with a glass of Dutch Chocolate chocolate milk. Hey, at least the milk has protein, right?

So. Combined with whatever I can get down the hatch for lunch and dinner without throwing up, I would say I get about 40 grams of protein per day. I am deeply concerned about this because I’ve seen gastric patients who DON’T do their protein supplements and to tell you the truth, they look drawn up and OLD. I do NOT want to look old before my time! I’ve always looked younger than my real age and I don’t want to start now by screwing myself out of my youth, hehehe. I’m also concerned because protein is very important to a growing fetus. Todd read in one of his books that protein helps the baby’s brain and cognitive development. It scares and concerns me that I have gone from 120 grams per day down to a measley 40 grams. As a gastric patient, we absorb only about HALF of what we consume (which is what causes the weight loss)…so in reality I’m only consuming half of whatever protein intake I’m getting right now. And that ain’t a lot, let me tell you.

At our first appointment a few weeks ago, I expressed this concern to my OB. He was not concerned at all, stating instead just to eat whatever I could possibly get down. The bad thing is that I can eat sweets and carbs until the cows come home but protein sources make me want to gag. Still, he was not at all concerned, stating instead that this should change or go back to normal by the second trimester. THIS WEEK, I’m heading into my 9th week of pregnancy, with only 3 more to go until I hit the second trimester, and I can’t wait. I’ve been nauseous, tired and very pukey feeling for the last I-don’t-know-how-long, and I cannot WAIT to feel “normal” again, whatever that means, and get back to eating the correct way for my lifestyle.

I am disappointed in myself in the area of exercise, also. The doc said I was fine to exercise and that it would make delivery easier, blah blah blah, and I have videos and an eliptical just waiting for me in the living room, but have I tried either in the last 9 weeks? NO. This is ridiculous! I got on the scale this morning and it said 146.0,which isn’t bad considering I WAS 149.9 last week. I’m not TRYING to lose weight, trust me. I eat every sweet thing in sight, too.

I keep telling myself that when the weather gets nicer, when it stops raining, I will walk the dogs. They need the exercise just as badly as I do, only Buttons COULD stand to lose a few pounds whereas Peety and I are fine how we are, hehehehe. My friend Bobby says Buttons has TREASURES, not junk in her trunk, but she is a hefty pooch anyway! LOL. You know what I REALLY want to do???? Strap on my rollerskates, put on my iPod and get after it at the track or the church parking lot. THAT is excellent exercise and it really doesn’t feel like exercise. But, I have a husband who’d freak out if I put on rollerskates while preggo! LOL. Even though I have all the protective gear, he would still have a conniption fit!

Anxiety is high for me right now due to the fact that a small part of me keeps waiting for this pregnancy to take a wrong turn, and for something bad to happen. I know, I know, that is not having faith in God to take care of things, but I’m still human. I was at about 8 weeks when I had the miscarriage so I’ve pretty much secretly been holding my breath, waiting but praying that nothing bad happens. So far, everything has been great. My doctor isn’t concerned at all and he even told us to just keep the faith. So. As I head into my 9th week this week, it is with a grateful heart. Every day, it is becoming even more real that in less than a year, we’ll have a real live baby of our very own. OMG! Life as we know it will never be the same.

And for that, I am excited and hopeful and nervous all at the same time!
Xoxo
Liz

Oh Boy! Oh No!

I just woke up and it’s 2:41 AM. The thing is, I had a dream that we’re having a BOY! Yep, that’s right. Let me tell you about it….

I dreamt I was standing beside a creek, up on the bank. In the water were 3 women, and they were asking me what I’ve been craving. I told them I had been wanting a lot of sweets and carbs. They all 3 threw back their heads and laughed and exclaimed, “You’re having a BOY!” When I asked how they knew one of the women said, “Women who crave sweets and carbs have baby boys!”

Even in my dream I was shocked!

So there you have it. My weird dream. Is it true? Am I having a stinky, dirty, smells-like-earthworms BOY???! I soooo want to cry right now.

The crazy thing? I craved sweets and carbs a LONG time before I ever got pregnant. So is there really any truth to this dream of mine? I don’t really put a LOT of significance into dreams but I do believe that sometimes they do tell us things we want to know, if we pay attention and listen to them. I am really going to go out of my head with this one because I tend to want to analyze, analyze, analyze, and this dream is no exception to my situational neuroses. GADS!

The main thing, I suppose, is that we have a HEALTHY baby. I have said from the start of this pregnancy that I didn’t really care, so long as Baby Watts is HEALTHY! And, that is truly how I feel. But when I think of little girls I think of sweetness. And all those GIRL CLOTHES hanging in the closet? Fuggetaboudit! I am SO not prepared for a baby boy. Sure, I have a few clothes and things but really I don’t know that I am EMOTIONALLY prepared. I’ve seen those movies where they pee all over the place. I’ve heard parents comment on the messes they make in the bathroom, thinking it’s funny to decorate the wall when they’re learning to write their ABCs. I’ve smelled that salty, earthwormy smell of a sweaty little boy. EW. That is all I can say. EW.

You know what, though? Even if I AM craving sweets… Well, my hubby is a boy and he doesn’t even LIKE sweets. In fact, many guys I know care nothing for sweets. So why would I be craving sweets and having a boy? Hmmmm?

This dream has me wigging out. In an age of instant gratification, I fit right in: I want to know NOW what we’re having. I want to go in to our April appointment and have the OB tell me, “Mrs. Watts, you’re having a baby GIRL!” Of course, I know that is not going to happen. And really, I have been diligent about thanking God for this baby, no matter what, no matter what. Last time, I said I did not want a boy and look what happened. This time, I’m REALLY trying to practice an attitude of gratitude and look at it with a thankful heart because I really AM thankful and I really AM grateful for the awesome chance to be a mommy…no matter if it turns out to be a boy OR a girl.

Just to ready myself, I better put the brakes on buying stuff for Baby Watts for now. Heck, instead of eyelet-collared onesies and pink and white colors, I need to think about buying Peepee Teepees and blue and navy and gray.

All I can say is that it’s a good thing our nursery bedding and stroller combo are fit for either a boy or girl. I’d be having a ringtail fit right about now if I’d purchased a gender-specific big ticket item…

Xoxox
Liz

Easter Sunday

First of all, I owe EVERYBODY an apology! I have been mostly out of commission this week what with the fatigue and the nausea. I haven’t been there for my friends. I haven’t returned phone calls or email. I slept through a lunch date with a friend I haven’t seen since high school! I haven’t cooked a few nights and instead insisted on dining out! And above all, I haven’t even posted pictures of our very first ultrasound!

The last thing, the ultrasound, well, we don’t have a scanner so I have no way of scanning it into the computer to show everyone. But basically, just imagine a very distorted PEANUT and there you have it…our baby’s very first photo shoot! My OB gave us 5 pictures, and they all show varying positions of virtually the same thing—this curved, slightly cute, peanut-resembling embryo. Because our kid is at this time the size of a blueberry, the Doppler didn’t really pick up any of the details that I’d expected and hoped to see, but at least we KNOW that EVERYTHING IS IN PLACE, AND WHERE IT SHOULD BE! There is a BABY in there, in the right spot. It’s not in a tube and it’s not invisible…IT’s THERE! And it’s kind of surreal…

And yes, the most exciting thing is that we got to see the heart beating! It looked to me like a distant, flashing light, but yep, we saw it! Todd was so cute, too: he was so happy it looked like he was about to bust open his seams. We were both elated and just giddy with happiness after the appointment. To celebrate, we went to Chili’s for lunch and just bathed in the satisfaction and excitement of knowing that, in a good 8 months, our lives will never be the same again. Gone will be the days when we can just decide on the spur of the moment to go to Wal-Mart at 8 PM. If we want to do that, we’ll have to make allowances for Baby’s sleep schedule, his/her eating schedule, the weather. I’ve been reading that routine with a baby is of utmost importance, and it just makes sense. I didn’t have much routine or consistency as a child and to this day I’m still all over the place and spontaneous and ready to try anything. But I DO believe that a daily routine is best and most beneficial for babies and toddlers. Like I said…it just makes the best sense.

We went to church today and my cuz Amy gave me a few gifts from my Aunt Rose: This GREAT Baby & Toddler 411 Giftset, which I’ve had my nose stuck in ALL DAY! The set includes 2 books, one for each age range, and there are so many helpful tips in there. I could read information like that all day long. They’re very well-written, informational and fact-filled. I’m learning things I didn’t know and have never even considered, such as the potential health hazards of plastic bottles versus glass or the drop-in systems, for example. It also has a great deal of information on breastfeeding and talks in depth about the entire process of it and gives time lines and feeding guidelines for breast and formula-fed babies. Along with the books was a package of Preggie Pop Drops! I was so surprised AND so thrilled! These things WORK, I’m telling you, and since I can’t really get saltine crackers down the hatch (the consistency of them just does not work for me post gastric bypass surgery) the Preggie Pop Drops are purrrrrrfect. They taste just like a sour fruit candy but include ingredients to curb or take away the nausea, which has been heightened the last week or so. THANKS SO MUCH, AUNT ROSE!! You don’t know how much I appreciate your thoughtfulness.

Until next time, everybody take care!

xoxo

liz

Goofing off on Sunday

Today has been a lot of fun. We went to church with my cousin Amy and her husband and their son. It was refreshing, to say the least! Then we all went to eat at Chimi's. They had a meeting to go to and we went to Wal-Mart to get supplies for the week, bought gas and somethin' to drink and then came on home. I slept the whole way home, which is not unusual for me to do, sleep while Toddy drives! haha

I got the camera out and he took this pic of me.

I am almost 6-1/2 weeks pregnant today. We are soooo excited because this Wednesday we actually get to go for our first ultrasound to see the heartbeat and take a look at the little peanut! We can't wait! I'm thinking maybe there are 2 in there, but anyway... All I know is that after we go on Wednesday, I will feel a *lot* better about this whole thing. It will be real to me then, knowing everything is in the right place and where it still should be. I haven't had any problems or anything (other than the ICK feeling that I've had nonstop for about a week) but still...you go through something once so traumatic as losing a baby and you always think it could keep happening. So, I just say my Thank You's everyday to God and I know that He has a plan for us and for our family...

I have a ton of clothes I've been stockpiling for the last few years. Everything I've bought I've gotten on sale...I don't shop any other way! Here are a few of the pictures I took today, but trust me, there are a HUNDRED more where these came from!

Don't worry, I have BOY stuff, too, but my batteries died before I could take any more pictures! My friend Traci's baby is due in early May, so if we DO have a boy, she'll be inheriting many of these cute outfits or else I'll eBay them or save them as gifts for other friends who are expecting girls. BUT...I really think it's a GIRL. My friend Bobby says he is banking on a boy. We'll see. It doesn't really matter to us what we have, so long as he/she is healthy and has 10 fingers and 10 toes! We're just thrilled because I know I wondered if it was *EVER* going to be *our time* to have a baby!

Anyway, aren't these outfits just adorable? I have them already arranged in the closet by size. I have yet to arrange them by specific hanger colors, but I don't know that I'm THAT OCD about it yet. My best find so far? The $32.50 hooded zippy Reindeer sweater at the top, originally $32.50 that I got at Gymboree Online for $4.99. I have mittens and brown corduroy reindeer overalls to match, too! My next best find? A pink "puffer" jacket from The Children's Place that was originally $39.50 that I bought in one of their St. Louis outlet stores for $7.99!!! Yes, to me that is a STEAL! Heck, I can't go to Wal-Mart and buy a coat for my kid that cheap, you know?

Everything I've bought so far has been on sale and trust me when I say I have a ton of stuff. Newborn, 0-3, 3-6, 6-9, 6-12, 12-18, and 18-24 months....all lining the closet. I even have a few pair of shoes to match a few of the little outfits I've purchased. I'm still really looking for something special for the first birthday but will probably wait until he/she gets here and I get to know the personality of the baby...

On another note, I have been seriously nauseated for the last week, pretty steadily. Thank goodness for these Preggie Pop Drops I've discovered. I know they sell them online but I buy mine at the Motherhood Maternity store in Tulsa and we just got some more in Joplin this weekend. They're a lifesaver. If you've never had morning sickness, don't let the term fool you: It can come on at any time of day, and last for however long it wants to. These Preggie Pop Drops HELP, I'm telling you! They take away the ick feeling. Yesterday was a particularly baaaaad day with the ick feeling and I even stayed home while Todd went to a St. Patrick's Day party without me just because I felt so...gross... I didn't mind. I stayed on the couch and watched a movie in between dozing off and sips of ice cold water. I am trying to really ration my Pop Drops out and since yesterday was such a gross day, I had already had 4 by the time we got back home so I didn't want to eat any more of them so I just suffered with it. Never threw up; just the worst feeling of nausea in the world, just about. UGH! I have ginger tea in the cabinet for this very thing but I despise ginger's spicy twang so I couldn't bring myself to drink any of it....but I'm feeling ick again this evening so I think I'll go make a cup.

I hope everyone has a great week. Thanks for reading and thanks for all your support and encouragement! It means more to me than you know!

xoxox

liz